kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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