Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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