Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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