Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
