i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
