hotel room ftw
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
