in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
