Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
