Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
