You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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