Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
