So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
