I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
