summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
