Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
