If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
