my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
