At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
