Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
