if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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