I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
