Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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