I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
