apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
