I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Still dying that you shit outside
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
