Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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