Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
