I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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