i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
