Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
