dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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