did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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