It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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