i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
