you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
