based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She told me I should be a condom model.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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