so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
