Life is so much better after having sex.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
