It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
