This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
time to smoke my breakfast
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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