Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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