So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
