Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
