We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
