Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
