We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
