I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
