Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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