I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Found the puke drawer
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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