THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
