he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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