just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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