my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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